Muhammad sits on top of the largest mountainside with a mountain of guilt penetrating his insides,

He heard his God’s voice for the first time; more plague than voice, misplaced his bones and tickled his spine,

Parts of him scattered in the earth, parts drowning in the sea,

Every remnant of himself remaining is a painting,

A portrait of confused doubt and disbelief……


But here comes that voice again,

It’s just a white noise out of the mouth of the darkest clouds,

Sounds of shaking manna dropping from the heavens,

He can’t tell if this is bliss or if this is hell:
“The flowers are withering, but flowers still somehow exist,

Man is stumbling, but he still his feet that are slave to his conscience,

The map leads me to nowhere, but maybe that’s just because I’m directionless,

This plague is killing all of us, but why does an us even get to exist?”

You see….
That from the top of that mountain,

To the bottom of that bottomless sea,

God, I see you in everything,

Yet I see you in absolutely nothing.


Hannah lays on her bed like a deity laid out on a crucifix,

Kisses her lover until her lips go numb; only forms language with his teeth between her tongue,

Sounds like an organ when their organs meet in the middle of that Oregon heat,

Collapsing into the dirt with her tied into him,

He’s becoming part of her fabric,

He’s inhabiting her brain,

He’s part of her skin,

He’s everything,


But vows are broken almost as soon as they are spoken,

She caught him shoveling himself in the dirt with another little piece of grass,

Now she’s burying him like a worthless artifact,

Presses into the fabric of another lovers skin,

But she still has parts of him inside her mind,

An absentee roommate, an invisible cell she is locked in from time to time,

He’s still in the fabric of her skin,

He’s still there all the time….
And she screams….

From the top of the mountain,

From the bottom of the sea,

Micheal… I still feel you everywhere,

Yet I see you in nothing.


Eleanor still holds onto her lover’s hand like a missing puzzle piece,

Yet the hand is invisible, it still controls everything,

He’s in a bunker somewhere in some foreign land,

Drowning in the oil of the corporate war,

She puts the oil in her brain,

Imaging him alive is the engine that moves her away from her pain…..


And she says…..

I’ve climbed to the top of the mountain,

I’ve swam to the bottom of the sea,

It’s amazing how you were here in everything,

And you aren’t even living.


Everything is nothing,

Everything is a state of mind,

You can go to the top of the mountain,

Be in the bottom of the sea at the same time,

Drown in the coral reef,

Or exhalt yourself amongst the God,

It’s just a matter of your thoughts….

Because no one ever really leaves,

And no one was really ever there,

It’s just your mind,

Preparing yourself to feel alive and aware.



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