Dali (For My Girlfriend’s Horse)

Dali, the first time I saw you….

There were jet-black circles under your bloodshot eyes,

Your hooves were covered in the sharpest of glass,

And manure was up to your thighs,

The way you looked at me, so lost and so lonely,

I knew I couldn’t leave you,

I knew you could be the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

 

Everytime I saw you with Anne the circles turned into smaller and smaller lines,

Like the way the moon gets smaller and smaller with the seasons; the passing of time,

The glass that made you limp was replaced with grass and you begin to stride,

I always knew you wanted to run away with her and that they just wouldn’t let you,

I always knew you were enslaved to that world; when you wanted to be a refugee to somewhere new,

Annie would water you and groom you and you looked like you could cry,

I guess love hits you the hardest when you’ve spent your whole life being told you should be dead inside,

I guess love hits you the hardest,

When you’ve spent your whole life invisible and you are feeling it for the first time,

For the first time you knew you existed outside of your thoughts,

And you wanted to run until you knew you couldn’t be caught.

 

Freedom beckoned you and the way Annie loved you,

It made me want to fucking cry too,

Because I’ve felt alone like you,

Stuck in my own prisons,

Covered in my own glass,

Just wanting shelter from the storms ahead,

Just wanting something to run to,

And god damn she did the same thing for me,

The day I met her I bet I looked a lot like you,

Eyes stuck in circles when they weren’t drifting away,

Bones stuck and sinking in the ground like quicksand when they wanted to run away,

Just doubting if I even existed outside of my own dreams,

Just doubting if I even belonged to anything,

But with one smile and one laugh,

My past disappeared into the circular moon above,

And all I felt was her love,

And it’s all I’ve ever wanted to feel,

I could move without glass breaking inside of me,

In her love I was free.

 

But anytime we left you,

Reality put you back into place,

With a slanted eyed owner who said you should know your place,

And I thought about everyone like him in our world,

Who hears of suffering and feels threatened and less valid,

Instead of wanting to lend a hand,

Instead of wanting to get the invisible and enslaved out of those lightless attics,

And those people like vultures are surrounding us again,

Eating up our hearts and replacing them with ideologies dead skin,

Some call it Fascism; they speak it through their grinded teeth in built up frustration,

I thought of all the kids I taught who were told they would never amount to anything,

Because their skin was as black as Dali’s eyes,

Because their culture was subjugated to Dali’s owners genocides,

And whenever they fight back we put tape on their mouths,

And then put glass on their fucking feet,

And do it all in the name of some equality.

 

The last time I saw Dali she was limping,

Her tongue stuck out and she was surrounded by mosquitoes and flies,

Her eyes said that she had no more blood left to give,

That she couldn’t even feel anything inside,

The stars and clouds that day were in the shape of glass,

And I knew the world wouldn’t let her forget her past,

I looked at Annie and she couldn’t stop crying,

Feeling like all of her love had gone to waste,

As the sun burned our shadows below,

So we were stepping on our heartache.

 

And I cried too,

Annie’s pain crawled inside me and I felt a fraction of what everyone I loved was going through,

Because they felt threatened instead of feeling empathy,

Because they felt fear instead of feeling altruistic,

Because they wanted blood instead of wanting to be optimistic,

And they will continue to do the same thing again and again,

Our empire and our values are hallucinations,

Yeah, I look at Dali and I couldn’t help but cry,

For her and all the other Dali’s we’ve left behind.

 

If I’m allowed to see her again,

I’ll take her out of the barracks and let her run to her freedom,

Underground railroads rising up and into the sky,

I’ll let her finally feel alive,

But I guess they wouldn’t let me leave without blood covering my sleeve,

Two bullets in each arm, so I couldn’t fly away with her,

Is something else’s freedom worth you being in pain?

I didn’t know the answer,

Until I saw the glass surround her like a broken window pane,

I knew nothing should be in pain,

Even if that thing didn’t have a human name,

So the next time I see you, Dali,

You will be running away with me and Annie,

And she will show you how to feel love and feel free,

Like she did when she first met me.

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