You Don’t Love Me Anymore (9/11/2016)

Sitting back with my back collapsing the shadows underneath me,

The shadow that was the only proof of my existence,

My entirety,

Since you left, I have only been a collection of shadows and waves,

Drowning in tears to feel alive,

Yet feeling out of breath at the same time,

I’m exhausted and full of anger,

My only sign of life.

 

I know it is hard for you to admit,

So I will start what you could never finish,

Permanently lock your door,

Because you don’t love me anymore.

 

It was one of those perfect summer days; it looked like a painting,

The sun was stitched so tight to the circular sun-shaped clouds,

The wind hovered above the sun and gave it sound,

And your hair glistened and swayed in symmetry with that whistling wind,

And you said you never wanted this moment to end…

 

But now there’s a storm forming ahead,

Lighting strikes twice and then strikes again,

And you shut me out of your door and you leave me to drown,

And I can no longer endure,

When you don’t love me anymore.

 

Laying back with the past yet thinking of the future,

Scratched out pictures in a frame, but memories will always follow me,

I’ll never be the same,

Because once you lose your better half you lose all of you,

So I’m just a shadow,

Waiting for your sun to photosynthesize within me,

So I can have breath and life in you.

 

Formless and only forming these words,

Amongst the air, the trees, and the dirt,

Hovering around just to see where you’ve been,

Kissing other men and opening to them your door,

You don’t love me anymore.

 

It was one of those bitter winter nights,

Where the snow covered the clouds and the stars were hidden from our sight,

And you had to feel my warm hands just to feel at all,

You said:

“You always bring me back to life, Blair,

In you I have my breath,

I have my all”.

 

But now I’m not breathing,

The stars aren’t hidden; they just have no meaning,

And I’m not sure what direction the wind will blow me,

If I am something that can be blown at all,

I just know that I need your hand,

So I don’t sink into the ground,

So I don’t fall.

 

As my night comes to the end,

I can hear your laughter being blown in the wind,

And I guess the god-damn toughest thing,

Is to accept that you are happier without me,

In this silence you have sentenced me to,

All I could hear is my heartbeat,

And I know I am alive,

That I can breathe,

So close your door,

I know you don’t love me anymore.

 

Moving on by not moving at all,

I wanted to be swallowed by the sun and spit into the stars,

Spinning by the breeze of the wind,

I won’t ever be hurt again.

 

But now my head is just on the floor,

You don’t love me anymore.

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