Eliana (Nothing Is Going To Steal My Joy)

In my twenty-five years sprawling the dirt of earth I’ve realized that we are really just split in fourths:

That some people fill their voids by causing voids in others,

That some other people fill their voids by causing voids in themselves,

That some people fill emptiness by filling their voids with and by themselves,

And some people fill other people’s voids so they don’t have to do it all by themselves.

 

 

And that’s about the jist of it,

From the ruthless capitalist to the community servant,

They all fall somewhere in these margins,

And the margins collapse to form a hole we call a whole,

In this melting pot of morals,

It’s tough not to have a melted soul.

 

They will try to steal your time to fill their black holes,

They will try to fold your conscience and claim it was for your morals,

And they will only smirk when you feel beaten and bruised,

But this is what I know to be the truth…….

 

That I’ve been apart of a cycle of abuse,

I’ve had to distort that cycle and claim some straight line was the truth,

I’ve slept with this lie and procreated with it too,

But if they want it to make me dead inside,

Here’s a new truth,

That you can do whatever you want to me,

Lock me in chains,

Cut off my wings,

Throw me in flames,

Destroy my soul until it is as small as my soles,

Beat my brains until I’m in a permanent lull,

But whatever you do,

There’s nothing you can do that will make me stop loving you,

Use me to fill all your voids,

Because you will never steal my joy.

 

Sing it….

 

Nothing is going to steal my joy,

Dancing with the poisoned sun,

I know one day we will both be destroyed,

Nothing is going to steal my joy,

No policy, no patriarchy, no anarchy,

Nothing is going to steal my joy,

No girl, no boy, no collection of voids,

Nothing is going to steal my joy….

 

And if you think you have ever come close,

Then let me introduce you to all my previous ghosts,

They are all forming a picket line; protesting the fact that I am still alive,

There’s bottles of prescription pills, clinical depression, people who could never feel,

I will just walk by,

So fucking high,

And I will hug them and ask them if I can help them find their way,

Because nothing is going to steal my joy today.

 

And Eliana,

I know you tried to bury me,

With a bunch of people you’ve buried that were already buried,

But I want you to know that no matter what you say about me,

The cannibalizing fallacies and falsities,

And all the other words you that you don’t understand the meaning of,

You can always have my support and love,

Even if you try to slit my throat,

Even if you try to leave me comatose,

I would gladly lend my voice to you,

I will gladly shine my light onto you,

Joy and light until you go blind and your laughter fills the sky with light,

I’m by your side tonight,

I know it doesn’t help you feel your voids,

But you aren’t changing me,

You aren’t stealing my joy.

 

Oh Eliana,

I know you think those corpses are your friends,

But you are really just sad about your mother,

And that you are so far away from helping her,

With that I sympathize,

Yeah, I know sometimes the only way for you to remember you have skin,

Is to skin others alive,

I know the way to have a voice sometimes,

Is for you to make sure other people have tongues that are tied,

I guess it all makes sense to me,

The world is a four-sided coin,

Where optimism and realism are poisonous ideologies,

But all I can do is understand and pray,

That the next person you try to rob won’t be prey,

Because I know that until the day I am rubble and I am decay,

There’s no one that is going to steal my joy,

There’s no fucking way…..

 

Nothing is going to steal my joy,

No demagogues, no ideologues, no vultures in the dark,

Nothing is going to steal my joy,

No rumor, no idea, no mouths that cannot be sealed,

Nothing is going to steal my joy…

 

And you can keep trying,

But the ghosts are running from me,

They know my past is dying,

And while you talk and while you dance,

I will be singing and I will be dancing,

In a field with no voids,

Because nothing is going to steal my joy

 

So Eliana,

I hate to break it to you but I cannot be broken,

And even after a break me and the one you tried to manipulate aren’t broken,

So try to steal your joy and try to sell your currency to feel your voids,

That’s fine with me,

But you aren’t going to steal my joy,

Not you or anybody.

 

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