Bottle (Never Love)

I’m a bottle,
Bottling up my feelings,
Mix them with liquor,
A peculiar recipe,
Drink them up,
Or sell them in a song for cheap,
Either way I profit off their release.

I’m a box,
Boxing myself up,
Think the masking tape is the sky,
Think the corners are little cities,
Think the sun is the dark shadows beneath me,
I exist only in my own definition of my surroundings.

I’m a code,
Watch me code my existence,
Speaking in codes,
I’m the only one who understands my own language,
These trains of thought that plague me,
We speak in code,
The weird line between friendship and slavery.

I’m a mine,
Well, at least my mind,
Full of darkness,
Maybe some headlights,
Just to guide my way,
Just so the foundation doesn’t collapse,
Just to get me through the day,
Just so I don’t relapse.

I’m a cigarette,
Intoxicated yet reluctant,
I’m a factory,
A plague yet productive,
I’m a skyline,
Ambitious yet unfulfilled,
I’m a pill,
Healing yet addictive,
I’m a line,
Firm yet crossed,
I’m a speech,
Spontaneous yet rehearsed,
I’m a book,
Original yet plagiarized,
I’m a human,
I love and then I die.

I’m a destination,
Clear yet murky,
I’m a foundation,
Solid yet crumbling,
I’m a faucet,
And now my cup is overflowing.

I love and then,
I love and then I die,
I love and then,
I love and then I die,
We love and then,
We love and then we die.

And I am full of love,
She stabbed me and I bled it out,
I didn’t die,
But am I still actually living?
Is love as necessary as breathing?

I’m capital,
Unlimited yet enslaving,
I’m a car,
I move only at the speed in front of me,
I’m an architect,
Planning but never having a plan exactly.

But I am not,
And no I do not,
Have any love,
Left to give.

Well where will being without love lead me?
A combination of loose objects with contradicting meanings
Is love just relative anyway?
Couldn’t some people see it in my hate?

Well if that’s true,
Then maybe I could be just like you,
Billions of dollars on boxes of bottles and steaks,
Win elections because people confused,
Love and hate.

And based on that confusion,
You learned to love yourself,
You live in your own box,
You don’t need anyone else,
You didn’t love,
And one day you’ll die,
You didn’t love,
Is that why you lived an actual life?

So I bottle up my feelings again,
But I sell them as anything but actual feelings,
And actually just universal truths,
Then the consumers turn into followers,
Maybe I will rule soon,
And their love,
As misguided as it is,
Maybe it will guide me to happiness.

And I’ll be a compass,
I’ll be a train,
I’ll be a building,
I’ll be a airplane,
I’ll be a book,
I’ll be a statute….

I’ll be hate to some,
Love to others,
But I’ll never love a damn thing

 

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